A Loving Wife is Gone!

Capt. Morgan · Post by **Capt. Morgan** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 10:19 pm

Well folks i have just lost my wife on tuesday morning she was driving her dads sonoma cc. She was heading in to town, taking my youngest daughter to the doctor office. She hit a pacth of black ice and lost control of the truck. The truck flipped and rolled over. She was killed on impact. my son was riding in back with his sister, he was thrown from the truck in his car seat the seat was busted up bad. But the lord had his hand on him all Delton got from the accident was a small fracture in his skull which the doctor's have said will heal just fine. i have just spent last 4 days and nights with him at the O.U. Childrens Hospital in Okalhoma City. They released him this morning we got home in time for the family visitation at the funeral home. My youngest daughter is a lil brused up but well in health. The public visitation is Saturday 19 of dec. and Sunday 20th from 8-5 at Hart-Wyatt funeral home and the funeral is monday 21st at 2 pm at the first baptist church, both are in Walters, OK

Post by **HenryJ** » Sat Dec 20, 2008 4:59 am

I am very sorry for your loss. There are really no words that are adequate for something like this. I can not imagine what I would do , in this situation.

I wish Oklahoma was closer so I could offer a hand.

Keep loved ones close to your heart and friends around you right now.

Forgive me if this is too personal, and you need not reply if that is the case. Did you have a will? This is one of those things we have talked about, but never put down on paper. I know we have said my sister would get the kids and they know, but we haven't made the time to put it on paper. Losing one of us the other needs to be protected too, I would guess? I know that I have insurance in place and all the stuff lined out as "beneficiary", but I don't have her name on all the titles and don't have a will. So what happens? Does the state assume the spouse gets everything? Is that the way it works everywhere?

04crewvt · Post by **04crewvt** » Sat Dec 20, 2008 5:18 am

My condolences to you and your family. May you find the strength you need to get you through this.

F9K9 · Post by **F9K9** » Sat Dec 20, 2008 7:18 am

04crewvt wrote:My condolences to you and your family. May you find the strength you need to get you through this.

I couldn't say anything better than what Brule and Brian have already said.

Reed

GeorgesBlazah · Post by **GeorgesBlazah** » Sat Dec 20, 2008 9:26 am

I am sorry for your loss.

04crewvt · Post by **04crewvt** » Sat Dec 20, 2008 9:39 am

Spent the $30 or so and do a simple will on line with no lawyer to deal with just a questionnaire to fill out. Without one the State can decided all details including custody of your children and the allocation of your estate. If you have a spouse they will eventually get something but the creditors and lawyers generally get theirs first and it can take month's or years to get anything. At least that's what I found when searching thing's out a bit before my surgery 2 Octobers ago. It's also the time to set up any letters to the care givers on limits of treatment and who gets to make decisions for you if you can't. Also good to set up any organ donor directives if you should have them.
It takes a whole hour or two to do and get notarized good peace of mind just in case.

Post by **HenryJ** » Sat Dec 20, 2008 9:52 am

Any suggestions as to where to do a will online? Does it include provisions for the children in the event we both die? What about leased land transfers and other specific details?
My license in Oregon carries the D "restriction" - anatomical donor. I have made that known to my family and friends.

This is something I seriously need to look at. I suppose they should be updated? How often, or is just after a life changing event that you make changes?

Should you just add your spouse to the vehicle titles to simplify things?

04crewvt · Post by **04crewvt** » Sat Dec 20, 2008 10:00 am

I used This site. easy to use and it has links to explain details. Updating a will will normally be needed only when a change occurs, a new child, marriage,divorce, custody requests, even trustees for pets (you do have them provided for as well?) Mine are written right into my will with a stipend for whoever takes them in or for the Humane Society in case they can't find a home. Also included are burial/funeral instructions. It is a hard fact to think about but if you don't do it in advance someone will be making these decisions at one of the lowest points in their life when they might not be thinking as clearly as they should. Many have found themselves in the hands of crooks at a time they are most vulnerable.

Capt. Morgan · Post by **Capt. Morgan** » Sat Dec 20, 2008 12:25 pm

I am glad to see a well response to my topic. The wife and i had talked about a will but never got to it we thought there was plenty of time for things like that. my goal was to open peoples eyes to the lil things in their life that they like i over look on a daily basis. i have basicly lost cusitdy over my two step daughters who i have been raising for over two years as my own and now i have soul custidy of my son. the pain i have can and is over whelming. But i have to keep my chin up for all three kids. I understand that there is a greater plan lined up out there whether i like the details or not, but i still know that it is for the best. Thank you

danny morgan

roadrunner · Post by **roadrunner** » Sat Dec 20, 2008 12:41 pm

Just fresh home from the hospital myself. (Back troubles)
Dan, My heart goes out to you and your kids. No words can express or truly help abate the pain you are all feeling right now. Just know you are in our thoughts and prayers and the hand of God will provide the extra strength you all need at this time of loss.

On the wills issue I've heard nothing but good things about an outfit on the web called legalzoom.com. I've not used them myself but know others who have with satisfactory results. My wife and I made out living wills with durable power of attorney for incapacitation and life support predecision several years ago. Don't forget checking and savings accounts as well. They usually are frozen and tied up in estates but this can be avoided by attaching to each account a "payable on death" clause with a named person to pay to. This circumvents all the estate and other red-tape.
Again Dan deepest sympathies and hopeful prayers, Larry Salmons

Post by **HenryJ** » Sat Dec 20, 2008 1:02 pm

Danny, you have spurred a great discussion here. Planning for the unthinkable is something we all put off and really need to address.

I like to have my hands in it more than most probably. This one has an editable word format: http://www.ilrg.com/

This site has free forms: http://www.legal-forms-online.com/wills/

There really is no reason not to do it. I really need to stop procrastinating.

roadrunner · Post by **roadrunner** » Sat Dec 20, 2008 1:08 pm

I did for a long time too Brule(procrastinate). I'm glad I've done it and have peace of mind about it now.

LUVMY02CREW · Post by **LUVMY02CREW** » Sat Dec 20, 2008 1:15 pm

My sincere sympathy to you and your family. If I could box up a bunch of hugs I'd sure send 'em to ya'll. As it is, I know everybody up there will have plenty for you, take advantage of and cherish each one. My prayers and thoughts are with you....

MAY GOD BLESS YOU DURING THIS TIME.

green02crew · Post by **green02crew** » Sat Dec 20, 2008 1:53 pm

I'm sorry for your loss, make sure you take care of the kids and that they take care of you.

okie s10 · Post by **okie s10** » Sat Dec 20, 2008 7:54 pm

So sorry Danny, hug the kids, cherish the memories. Our prayers are with you.

On another note, just finished wills, trusts, power of attorneys, organ donor wishes, medical-health directives, for the wife and myself. Bunch of legal mumbo-jumbo but feel better about doing it. Set up an insurance trust, funded with an insurance policy that pays off(to our kids) after we both pass. Second-to-die term policy was a good bit cheaper and being it's in a trust, they will get it tax free.

BobbleSmitty · Post by **BobbleSmitty** » Sat Dec 20, 2008 11:10 pm

I'm sorry Danny. We'll be praying for you and your family.

DLP · Post by **DLP** » Sun Dec 21, 2008 7:31 pm

So very sorry for your misfortune. Best of wishes getting through this sad situation. Darrell

PATRICKH · Post by **PATRICKH** » Fri Dec 26, 2008 1:08 pm

OMG dude! I am really sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you. Lost a friend several years ago in a very similar situation. He left behind a wif and 4 kids.

Again, very sorry for your loss.

Capt. Morgan · Post by **Capt. Morgan** » Tue Dec 30, 2008 12:38 pm

I thank each one of you for your support thru this rough and difficult time. There is always a lesson to be learned everyday. If my difficult time has opened some or most of your eyes that a will is very important and i wish me and my wife would have done one up. once again thank you for your support.

Capt. Morgan · Post by **Capt. Morgan** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 9:37 pm

what i have held off and didnt want to say much outside of my family but i need outside advise so if you have any pm me.
the day after we laid my wife to rest her parents had went up to the court house and filled for custidy of my son. I have hired a lawyer and go to court this friday. We have been living with them since july, to be honest I feel betrayed over the whole thing. I have no vices in life I try and work hard have been raising my wifes 2 lil girls as if they were my own for @ 3 years now and have done well in my opinion and now they want to take my son because i dont go by their ways and do things the way they want. I havent ever had any legal trouble my entire 29 years on this earth no tickets or anything and they want to say i am unfit to raise my boy. I lost rights to my lil girls when my wife passed and now they want my son to. I am in training for a company that has done me great thru all of this which i may have to leave if the judge rules in my favor friday. Until christmas eve i had not thought about going back north until i was served those papers. I am still staying with my inlaws because i have no family down here and do not know anyone i can trust with my son while i am at work. its wearing me plum out. but i am scared every morning when i leave for work that when i return to the house he will not be there. He is the only thing keeping me going after all that lil man has been threw he still smiles and laughs when i hold him and talk to him. I do not know where i would be if i would have lost him too that horrible day. My lawyer says that he doesnt see the right in this. but like any father i am scared sh*tless of the what ifs in this. I worry that if i do loss him to the in laws that i may not be able to take it. i havent even truely grieved yet been to caught up in all this other drama and I HATE DRAMA!!! any advice would be greatly welcomed my family is trying to be supportive in this. I just would like a third party advice on what else i could do or maybe something i might be over looking with all that is in front of me right now.
I have never been one to ask for help no matter what i was facing but ladys and gentelmen i am pleading for it I do not know what else to do because i am doing what i think is right for him and myself but i am not perfect so anything is welcome exept critisism i get that enough as it is here verbal and non verbal
thank you

Post by **HenryJ** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 9:50 pm

Do what you think is best for your son and your own mental health. Find a shoulder to lean on. One you can look in the eye, or share bread with.
I do not fully understand the situation and that is not likely from afar.

You can be sure your problems are not the only being endured right now. Anytime you think you have it bad, you find someone who has it worse.

I hope a year from now things are much clearer and happy for you and yours.

F9K9 · Post by **F9K9** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 10:31 pm

HenryJ wrote:Do what you think is best for your son and your own mental health. Find a shoulder to lean on. One you can look in the eye, or share bread with.
I do not fully understand the situation and that is not likely from afar.

You can be sure your problems are not the only being endured right now. Anytime you think you have it bad, you find someone who has it worse.

I hope a year from now things are much clearer and happy for you and yours.

The gentleman has much more than automotive wisdom.

I can not think of better advice and I have seen the elephant a time or two! Feel free to call anytime. I can only offer an ear to listen.

I will give this out now because I know that our members are respectful.

The cell phone is worthless here at the house but, here it is.

Reed Wetter
311 Silver Eagle Drive
London, KY 40744
Home Phone 606.862.8467
Cell Phone 606.224.1555
Work Phone 606.864.6993
f9k9@windstream.net

roadrunner · Post by **roadrunner** » Tue Jan 20, 2009 3:52 pm

Having been through a divorce and losing a custody fight with the ex years ago I can understand your feelings in this matter. I have to agree with Reed and Brule as everyone's life situation is different and you need a close understanding shoulder to help you out in this situation. While I offer my support and sympathies I'm afraid they are of little value as concerns real-world help.
All I can say is FIGHT for your children!!!!!!! They are worth it. Losing custody will cause you much greater pain later on than you'll ever have or believe possible. Been there, still feel that after more than 20 years.

Capt. Morgan · Post by **Capt. Morgan** » Tue Jan 20, 2009 9:02 pm

well after getting in from work and yes i still live with the laws, my father in law and i had a sit down over this matter and he said this can be dropped no hearing he was wanting what was best for my son, as far as my step daughters go their bio-father has given them a special power of attorny till he returns from Iraq. I am going to talk with my lawyer tomarrow over the talk i had tonight but for the matter of an understanding shoulder down her you gentalmen and ladys on here are about the closest thing to friends i have right now other than my friends back home in ILL with all that is going on having the understanding that i could have lost my son in the wreck he means even that much more to me now if thats even possible

I have a great job down here but there is more to raising a child than a good paycheck. being the oldest of 3 children in a single parent home I now understand that. Well it all depends if my lawyer has to say tomarrow on if me and jr make our 800 mile drive north or not. I know there is always something worse to be but just like anyone when you face a situation no matter what it is you never reaily think it can or is worse somewhere else or even to come for that matter. But for now my issue is trust after all of this and I know that, that is a matter i have to make up for myself thank you all for your support and for being there for me and my family in this time if i have dampened anyones holidays or times of joy I am sorry for that. It sucks when you have no where to really turn and are so mixed up you dont know what way is up. Again thank you for all of your help

Danny Morgan

Rockrz · Post by **Rockrz** » Tue Jan 20, 2009 10:04 pm

You're in my prayers!

It will get better...

jedthrocornpone · Post by **jedthrocornpone** » Wed Jan 21, 2009 12:21 am

Danny my condolences,
As a Husband and a Father I can't fathom where I would be right now if I were in your shoes............

You will Cope (I have faith in that), I am not going to tell you that the pain goes away (although I think the sting does dull) or that the fear (for your childs safety/future) will ever go away. But it is what you do now that will make the diffrence.

Brules words are right It could always be worse, I know thats a painfull way to look at things but it is true. Be thankful for the things you have, try to take deep slow breaths (in thru the nose and out thru the mouth) and in time things will work them selves out.

I wish you nothing but the best ........JC

Capt. Morgan · Post by **Capt. Morgan** » Wed Jan 21, 2009 8:47 pm

well folks the new update is that the case was dropped today by the inlaws I am trying to be the bigger person here in all of this mess with them and jr and i are going to stay here and while i go to work the inlaws are going to watch my son. i was thinking of quiting and running back home but i honestly can not do such a thing at this time Yes i was hurt but i did and do understand their point of view on the situation. I have always tried to make family the main point in my life and if i did pack up and me and my son did move back to ILL that wouldnt be the right thing to do completely sometime one must turn the other cheek

danny morgan

roadrunner · Post by **roadrunner** » Thu Jan 22, 2009 9:52 am

Best of luck to you and your son! Sounds like you are on the path to things getting better.

Rockrz · Post by **Rockrz** » Thu Jan 22, 2009 8:07 pm

Capt. Morgan wrote:well folks the new update is that the case was dropped today by the inlaws...

Now there's some good news!

junkraider · Post by **junkraider** » Thu Jan 22, 2009 8:52 pm

Well sorry to hear about your loss and the troubled road that followed . But at least you kept a level head with the inlaws . I hope everything works out for you and your son .

Capt. Morgan · Post by **Capt. Morgan** » Thu Jan 22, 2009 9:08 pm

with this job i have i had to get a cdl with hazmat and tanker endorsment today was my schedualed day to test my orginal test day was 2 days after the wreck. Just happens to be today is also one month after we laid my wife to rest. made a few mistake during the drive test but i am now a class a cdl driver. Crystal always gave me grief in a loving manner that i should get my cdl because of my driving always watchind taking corners like i had a trailer on my cc and so forth when i was testing for my permit she was my "tester" and as stressful and difficult as this last month has been and taking care of my son everynite, still having nightmares watching the wreck (no i did not witness the wreck but have been in enough to be able to image it) I was not nervous about the test today and everytime i started to get nervous i could hear Crystal tell me "you can do this I know you can" she supported me so much in our short time together getting this done was a major step for me, without this i would not have a job with the company and they have been there for me during this whole thing and i am grateful for that. I can leave the company and go home with their blessing with my class a bit i signed a contract with them the day i hired on for a year of service with them and they provided the instructors, practice course and trucks for all of this so i am trying to be a man of my word and full fill that contract. so for the time being i will be mainly driving 18 wheels instead of 4 at least for the next year.

F9K9 · Post by **F9K9** » Thu Jan 22, 2009 9:30 pm

Congrats on the CDL. Sounds like the attitude is good during tough times. My hat is off to you and my thoughts are with you.

Reed

Rockrz · Post by **Rockrz** » Fri Jan 23, 2009 12:41 am

I hear the trucking industry still needs alot more drivers,
so at least you should be in a good industry during the
down economy so you'll always have a job.

That's good news...

mjmcdowell · Post by **mjmcdowell** » Fri Jan 23, 2009 11:08 am

Dan, May God bless you and see you through this hard time. I just can't think of my wife passing, We have a 15 yr. old son, our only child. Lean on your boy and let him lean on you together you will become closer and stronger in time. May God bless you both and hold you in the palm of his hand. Our prayers are with you. stay safe, michael j mcdowell

Capt. Morgan · Post by **Capt. Morgan** » Tue Feb 24, 2009 12:08 am

Well to all of those who have been supportive threw all of this I thank you. I made the choice to move me and my son back up north to where my family is from and it wasnt an easy thing to do but my had was forced and it was to the point i was worried for my sons well being when i was away at work. Lookin for a good home sucks but god willing. just cant wait for it to warm up. My son is 5 months old now and doing great.

danny

Capt. Morgan · Post by **Capt. Morgan** » Wed Feb 17, 2010 9:20 pm

well after an interesting year i am back and glad to say doing well (me and my son). i have gotten remarried to a womderful woman i now have a family of six lol ! once again i do thank you guys for the support that you all have showen me thank you very very much

Post by **HenryJ** » Wed Feb 17, 2010 9:35 pm

Wow! Almost a year to the day. Welcome back

Capt. Morgan · Post by **Capt. Morgan** » Wed Feb 17, 2010 9:39 pm

well when it warms up i will post some pics done a few new mods to the truck since i got home lol fimally got 31's on it lol

still rubbing working on it

fallvitals · Post by **fallvitals** » Thu Feb 18, 2010 11:03 am

I wasn't a member here when this happened, but sorry for your lose.

S-10CREWCAB.NET

A Loving Wife is Gone!

A Loving Wife is Gone!

glad to have know her

memories are very important

to add to the drama of life

Dan..... thinking of you....

Re: A Loving Wife is Gone!

Re: A Loving Wife is Gone!

Re: A Loving Wife is Gone!

Re: A Loving Wife is Gone!