How Forums Work.....

[border man]

How many forum members does it takes to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb would have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

1 to move it to the Lighting section

2 to argue then move it to the Electricals
section

7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs

5 to flame the spell checkers

3 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"

15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct

19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum

11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum

36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty

7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs

4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's

3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group

13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"

5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

13 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.

[BADs Crew]

[Blaze One]

I agree
( How many posts did you think it would take until someone did this ? )

[04crewvt]

One to tell a new member that there is plenty of information on light bulbs on the site and instruct them to use the search function to find them.

[Snoman002]

You forgot the n00b that posts the question "how do you chagne a light bulb" while this whole thing is taking place.

You also forgot the guy that screams "REPOST" because he thinks there was a post about light bulbs three or four years ago.



That is funny stuff.

[HenryJ]

Much of this rings true.
I probably should move it to forum information

[SONOMA915]

That is fricken hilarious!!!

[jeggers]

So true so true. But what else would we do!!

[Walt]

Ahem....Jeggers, you used incorrect punctuation in that second sentence.

[jeff024]

It was never mentioned what type of light bulb(lamp) were talking about here .

[04crewvt]

And the 6 who will debate until everyone wants to strangle them about who makes the best lighbulb and why they feel any other bulb is inferior.

[HenryJ]

You are all wrong! They are not "light" bulbs at all, they are in fact....Dark Suckers:
For years, it has been believed that electric bulbs emit light, but recent information has proved otherwise. Electric bulbs don't emit light; they suck dark. Thus, we call these bulbs Dark Suckers. The Dark Sucker Theory and the existence of dark suckers prove that dark has mass and is heavier than light.

First, the basis of the Dark Sucker Theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. For example, take the Dark Sucker in the room you are in. There is much less dark right next to it than there is elsewhere. The larger the Dark Sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark Suckers in the parking lot have a much greater capacity to suck dark than the ones in this room.

So with all things, Dark Suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the dark spot on a full Dark Sucker.

A candle is a primitive Dark Sucker. A new candle has a white wick. You can see that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing all the dark that has been sucked into it. If you put a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, it will turn black. This is because it got in the way of the dark flowing into the candle. One of the disadvantages of these primitive Dark Suckers is their limited range.

There are also portable Dark Suckers. In these, the bulbs can't handle all the dark by themselves and must be aided by a Dark Storage Unit. When the Dark Storage Unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced before the portable Dark Sucker can operate again.

Dark has mass. When dark goes into a Dark Sucker, friction from the mass generates heat. Thus, it is not wise to touch an operating Dark Sucker. Candles present a special problem as the mass must travel into a solid wick instead of through clear glass. This generates a great amount of heat and therefore it's not wise to touch an operating candle.

Also, dark is heavier than light. If you were to swim just below the surface of the lake, you would see a lot of light. If you were to slowly swim deeper and deeper, you would notice it getting darker and darker. When you get really deep, you would be in total darkness. This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and the lighter light floats at the top. The is why it is called light.

Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were to stand in a lit room in front of a closed, dark closet, and slowly opened the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet. But since dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave the closet.

Next time you see an electric bulb, remember that it is a Dark Sucker.

[04crewvt]

In Physics 101 we found and quantified this phenomenon and learned that it was actually a subatomic partical with more power than an other know to us, it was was postulated that this partical, the DARKON, was indeed the basic building block of the universe and that is why the night sky which is much bigger than the daytime sky is black.

[kermit]

and 3 people who go off topic in the middle of a post to be funny

seriously, though... i'll have to remember the dark suckers. that is a novel concept indeed!

[04crewvt]

[jeff024]

I just wanna no did you put all that thought into Dark suckers or was that copied from something?

[HenryJ]

I just wanna no did you put all that thought into Dark suckers or was that copied from something?

"The Dark Sucker Theory" has been around for a long time. I don't know the origin. My "upholstery guru" introduced me to it

[04crewvt]

OK now that we are completly off the topic of lightbulbs can we get a moderator to split the topic so we don't have too many threads going on in this one.

[F9K9]

OK now that we are completly off the topic of lightbulbs can we get a moderator to split the topic so we don't have too many threads going on in this one.

The moderator is the GD guilty party

[HenryJ]

I can't help it if you guys started the wrong topic

19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum

[Walt]

While we're splitting topics, we'd better make individual ones for automotive dark suckers, home lighting, outdoor bulbs, aeronautical illumination, underwater lamps, etc..... All in all we need about 15 new topics

[rlrnr53]

You forgot the newest dark suckers LEDs

[HenryJ]

You forgot the newest dark suckers LEDs

Are those Light Enveloping Dark Suckers? They do not seem to develop nearly as much heat therfore must somehow slow the sucking of dark to reduce friction and also seem have a great capacity for storage.

[04crewvt]

Ow! my head hurts.

[24digger]

You guys crack me up

and I'm with 04crewvt

Ow! my head hurts.

[Walt]

You guys crack me up

and I'm with 04crewvt

Ow! my head hurts.

Come on you guys! You can't do that! You have to start a separate thread about headaches

[HenryJ]

Whoa! perhaps headaches could be related?
Maybe a lack of enlightening could cause that? The lack of light could be seen as mental darkness. Some one with mental darkness should probably not be involved in changing dark suckers

[04crewvt]

well I know when I get a migrain I suffer from extreme light sensitivity with Aura so maybe thats the link between dark suckers/darkons and headaches.

[AZS10Crew]

Don't forget the guy that posts a pic illustrating correct light bulb changing procedure and another guy that says the pic is too big and edits the post.

Oh yeah...and then there's the "smilies only" posters too.

[04crewvt]

[Walt]

Since we're talking about the causes of headaches. What about sound? Loud sounds can irratate a migraine. But then there are many different sounds. Looks like we need another thread for sounds now too

BTW, the bulb changing pic is too small.

[04crewvt]

Darkons generate negative sounds, thats why we turn off the lights at night when going to sleep, it is more restful to us. Photons create positive sounds thats why we wake up in the morning when the photons start exciting the birds and causing sounds like garbage trucks on our streets that are never heard in the dark of the night. It's also why lightning is almost always accompanied by thunder.The massivly charged photons temporaraly disrupt the natural negative sound field of the darkness.

[SONOMA915]

Darkons generate negative sounds, thats why we turn off the lights at night when going to sleep, it is more restful to us. Photons create positive sounds thats why we wake up in the morning when the photons start exciting the birds and causing sounds like garbage trucks on our streets that are never heard in the dark of the night. It's also why lightning is almost always accompanied by thunder.The massivly charged photons temporaraly disrupt the natural negative sound field of the darkness.

How do you explain people falling asleep at the wheel at night, when they obivously have there lights on?

[HenryJ]

...How do you explain people falling asleep at the wheel at night, when they obivously have there lights on?

Dark is much more powerful than light and the 12 volt powered dark suckers are not nearly enough to counter the effects.

[Retep]

Don't forget the 10 to 15 people who would post merely to raise their post count.

This is the funniest thread I have read on any forum in a looooong time!!!!

[Walt]