ENJOYWHY DID FORD PUT HEATERS IN THE TAILGATES OF THEIR NEW TRUCKS?
To keep their hands warm when they are pushing the truck into the shop.
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WHY ARE THERE SIDEWALKS BESIDE MOST STREETS AND HIWAYS?
So Ford owners have a safe place to walk home.
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HOW IS A GOLF BALL DIFFERENT FROM A FORD?
You can drive a golf ball 200 yards!
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FORD ACRONYMS:
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road Dead
Backwards... Driver Returns On Foot
Backwards... Dorks Ride On Fords
Factory Ordered Road Disaster
Factory Ordered Rebuilt Dodge(Datsun)
Flip Over Read Directions
Four Old Rusted Doors
Fixed On Race Day
Ford Owner Really Dumb
For Only Retarded Drivers
Fabrication Ordinaire Reparation Dispendieuse - French for ordinary fabrication expensive repairs.
Ford Owners Recommend Dodge
Flipped Over Russian Dunebuggy
Found On Russian Dump
For Off Road Death
it Freaking Only Runs Downhill
Fat Old Rusted Dog
Freaking Old Rusted Dodge(Datsun)
Frigin Oakies Really Dig it
Funky Old Road Dog
Found On Roadside's Destroyed
Backwards...Don't Ride Over Fifty
Fixed-up Old Repossesed Dodge
Found Old Rebuilt Dodge
Forget OutRunning Dale
Found On Railroad Deserted
Found On Railroad Dead
Fools Only Read Directions
First On Repair Dolly
Favorite Of Redneck Drivers
Backwards- Dumb Retards Own Fords
Funny Old Rebuilt Dodge
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
Forfiet On Race Day
Found On River Dead
Failure Of Research & Development
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PINTO ACRONYMS:
Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook
Put In New Transmission Often
Put In Nickel To Operate
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MUSTANG ACRONYMS:
Massively Under-Sized Tires And No Go
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LINE FROM A SONG SUNG BY A FAMOUS COUNTRY SINGER
"I wanta buy me a Ford truck and push it up and down the road."
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ONE WORD:
Pinto
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This is Chevy country and on a quiet night you can hear a Ford rust...
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A man pulled up next to a little girl walking home from school and said "If you get in, I'll give you a lollypop." The girl kept walking. Following along slowly, the man said "Come on and get in the car with me and I'll give you two lolly pops." She kept her eyes on the sidewalk and continued on her way. The man said "Get in with me and I'll give you this whole bag of lollypops!" Finally, the girl turned and said "Look daddy, YOU bought the Ford, YOU ride in it!!!"
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Ashes to ashes,
dust to dust.
If it wasn't for our Fords,
our tools would rust.
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This is your brain "CHEVY", this is your brain on drugs "FORD"
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Buy a Ford and you buy the best. Drive the first mile and walk the rest.
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Ford trucks the worst always rest
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My parents just bought me a Ford Mustang. "So what did you do to them to tick them off?"
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I could never keep a Ford under me, I was always under the Ford.
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Do you know that Ford has admitted they are expensive and unreliable? That new commercial they are running says so! When that country singer says "If I had me some money" he admits he can't afford one, and when he adds that he'd "buy a Ford truck or two" it because he needs a spare.
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Next time some Fordnatic claims Ford means "First on race day" remind them that anything could be fast if a team of mechanics worked on it all week so it would last long enough to run a race before needing another weeks work.
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WHY ARE THE NEW FORD TRUCKS MORE AERODYNAMIC?
So they will save the Chevy gas when the Chevy tows them away.
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WHAT SHOULD THE FORD MUSTANG REALLY BE CALLED?
The Ford Rustang
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WHY IS THIS COUNTRY SO FAR IN DEBT?
Because the President drives a Ford
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WHAT DID THE CHEVY SAY TO THE FORD?
Would you like a tow home?
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HOW MUCH WOOD CAN A FORD TRUCK HAUL IF A FORD TRUCK COULD HAUL WOOD?
As much as the Chevrolet tow truck in front of it.
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WHAT SHOULD A FORD THUNDERBIRD REALLY BE CALLED?
A ford thunderturd
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SPEED KILLS
DRIVE A FORD
LIVE FOR EVER
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I'd rather push a Chevy than drive a Ford!
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HOW DO YOU DOUBLE THE VALUE OF A PINTO?
Fill it with gas!
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Ford Escort Me To A Chevrolet Dealer.
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Have you outdriven a Ford lately?
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WHAT SHOULD A FORD TAURUS REALLY BE CALLED?
A Ford Tortious
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WHAT SHOULD THE MERCURY COUGAR REALLY BE CALLED?
"The Mercury Bougar"
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If Ford mean's(First on race day) It is only because it is still there from the last race day.
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Have you dusted a Ford lately?
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WHAT'S WORSE THAN DRINKING FROM THE TOLIET?
Driving a Ford
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Dusk to dusk
Hump to hump
There went
The ford in
The dump.
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From the past 10 years about 90% of Ford trucks are still on the road, the other 10% made it home.
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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
To push his F-150 back into the shop
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WHY DIDN'T THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
His F-150 got stuck
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Not Mustang its MUDstain
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Ford Explorer=Ford Exploder
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They are putting handwarmers in all the new FORD cars and trucks.......in the trunk deck on cars, and in the tailgates on the pickups.......good news for the owners, their hands won't freeze when they are pushing them home!
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WHY ARE FORD DEALERS GIVING AWAY A FREE GERMAN SHEPARD PUPPY WITH EVERY NEW TRUCK?
So the owners will have someone to walk home with.
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WHAT SHOULD THEY CALL THE MUSTANG?
The Must Bang
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Remember the old ford commercial song? " Ford sucks, the worst trucks ever made, Ford sucks"
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Built Ford tough with Chevy stuff!!
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WHY DO THE NEW F-150'S HAVE LARGER SCALE BUMPERS?
It makes it easier on the tow truck.
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DID YOU KNOW THAT FORD HAS A NEW MAGNETIZED BUMPER?
They needed something to pick up the parts that fell off along the way.
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To the people who say they would rather push a Ford than drive a Chevy usually do.
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A Texan was talking big in a bar one night about how much money he had,how many women he had been with and how much land he owned. A young man, growing tired of all the big talk finally asked the Texan, "Just how much land do you actually own"? The Texan tipped back his cowboy hat and said to the young man " Well sonny let me put it to ya like this, I can get in my pickup at sunrise, drive all day long,skip lunch and still not get to the other side of my property by sundown". The young man shot back quickly, " Oh yeah, I know what you mean, I used to own a Ford truck too"!
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WHAT SHOULD THE FORD PROBE REALLY BE CALLED?
The Ford Problem!
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WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE IF YOU HAD 100 FORD TRUCKS AND ONE CHEVY TRUCK?
You would have a good junk yard and one good tow truck.
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License plate holder I saw........."Thank God Ford doesn't build airplanes"
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WHAT SHOULD THE FORD ASPIRE REALLY BE CALLED?
The Ford Expire
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What's up with the Aspire? The only thing thing it could possibly Aspire to be, is pulled by a Chevy tow truck.
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Bumper stickers seen on a ford: 0-60 in 12 miles, Honk if anything falls off, Never get behind a Ford!
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HOW COME FORD MAKES TRACTORS AND CHEVY DOESN'T?
Because Chevy cant get one to run that slow!!!
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Have you beaten a Ford lately???
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From a song that I here on the radio a lot.
"It's another turning point, a Ford stuck in the road."
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HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEW SPEED LIMIT SIGNS?
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WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A FORD AND A SHOPPING CART?
A shopping cart sure is a lot easier to push
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That's not a leak, my Ford's just marking its territory!
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I was driving my Ford truck down the road,
When I realized it was gonna explode.
The Ford motor blew up in my face,
So I put a Chevy motor in it's place.
I drove that truck 'till the body panels rusted away,
But that old Chevy motor still runs to this day!
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WHAT DOES THE GT STAND FOR ON A MUSTANG?
Glue together!
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WHAT SHOULD THE FORD TARUS REALLY BE CALLED?
The FORD Tow-us
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At Ford quality is job 1. Job 2 is putting out the fire.
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I've got a little pile of tin, nobody knows what shape it's in, got four doors and runnin boards, it's a FORD oh it's a FORD, Honk Honk, Rattle Rattle Rattle, Cough, Beep Beep!
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If all the vehicles in America were 'built Ford tough', the shoulders of America's highways would be a much more crowded place.
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Here I sit broken hearted
Wishing that Ford would have started
But it didn't so that's a wrap
So I think I'll shoot that piece of crap
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WHAT DID THE CHEVY SAY TO THE FORD?
Better start running
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WHAT IS THE PROCTOLOGISTS FAVORITE CAR?
Ford Probe
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Ford might stand for First On RaceDay, but someone has to open the concession stands!
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Liscense plate frame I saw ...Today's Special... Smoked Ford!
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A bit of tin,a bit of board Put it together and you've got a Ford
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A little spring
A little coil
A little gas
A little oil
A piece of tin
And a 2 inch board
Nail it together
And you get a FORD!!
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Others Jokes
Flipover On Race Day
Ford is 'First on Race Day', the first to be towed away!
Ford is 'First on Race Day', the first to spin out into the wall!
Do you know why people buy Fords? Because it'll give him and his tools a good workout!
How Fast does a Ford go the quarter mile? As fast as you can push it there!
Fords depend on Cehvrolet to tow them to the repair shop!
It's a suprise the Junk Yard isn't called the Ford Yard!
Ford is 'First on Race Day', First until Dale and the other Chevy's pass them!
It's no wonder that the Police can't catch up with a runaway Chevy, they all drive Fords!
The only thing a Ford's good for is it's spare parts!
FORD-- Firestone's old rubber's deadly!
FORD backwards--Hey Jim (Jim drives a chevy), don't run over Fred!!! (Fred's pushing his Ford!)
Why is it a Ford Explorer? It likes to explore the repair shops and junk yards!
The Ford Explorer defines the laws of gravity, how could those tires make it roll over that many times?
That's somehow got to be worse than owning a "Fix Or Replace Daily".
Do I feel like a horse's behind! 
